When Pen Touches Paper
by Get The Funk Out
Summary: Jiraiya wasn't used to being called out by Naruto. But, if it was a story he wanted, it'd be a story he'd get. A full rewrite of Naruto where one coincidence changes the legend.
1. Prologue

**AN**: Hello, Naruto fans. The summary should raise a few questions, however hopefully those are answered with this prologue chapter. Mostly this story covers one alternate reality written by Jiraiya himself, primarily during the training-trip he took with Naruto, until his death. The story itself spans a bit more time than that, and lasts a good deal longer, but everything starts because of a strange coincidence, as most stories do.

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><p>"Oi, Ero-sennin!" Naruto barked at the Toad Sage, who was sprawled out against a tree, sleeping.<p>

"Wake up, you old geezer, it's, like, two in the afteornon! No napping allowed!"

A series of nearly incoherent curses and flailing followed, along with a half-serious scuffle that was more than common between the two ninja. It ended within minutes with Jiraiya holding Naruto in a head-lock, and the younger ninja waving his arms and legs wildly, hoping that he might catch a piece of his mentor.

"Honestly, Naruto, why do you always have to ruin the best dreams? There was this _lovely_ blond with _just_ the right curves and she was-"

"God_ dammit_ ero-sennin! I don't want to know about your godforsaken sexcapades," the blond boy yelped back, squirming out of Jiraiya's grasp as the man was caught in a fit of false stammers.

"But-but," he trailed off, shaking his head slowly. "Honestly, Naruto, those dreams and my research are what make me money! And with plenty of money comes a nice easy life where I can write my books and nap, and don't have to worry about little pests like you."

The comment earned him a smack on the head, which in turn merited a soft 'oww' and a short fit of laughter.

"That's a load of crap, you old lech, we both know you're cheap as all Hell. Honestly, when was the last time you wrote a book that wasn't all about sex, anyway?"

This made Jiraiya think, which was certainly a dangerous pastime. Naruto took his silence as defeat, and walked away to finish the training Jiraiya had asked of him, but the Hermit thought back to a book that was by far the poorest-faring he'd ever written. It was his favorite, too, which was unfortunate, and gave the ungrateful little runt his name, which Jiraiya was proud to know. Naruto did have a point though- he hadn't written a serious work (at least not by normal human standards) in quite a few years. They didn't sell as well as his other endeavors, which was true of most things, but if Naruto wanted him to write, who was he to complain? Snickering to himself, he chose to at least do his pupil the courtesy of watching him train, occasionally tossing out tidbits of advice as he went.

As the thought festered in his mind, however, Jiraiya realized that he could hardly scrap together enough serious material for a few chapters, let alone a full volume, for a serious story that wasn't about himself or that involved ideas that Naruto would consider perverted beyond belief. Rarely at a loss for an idea, Jiraiya decided that, since he so kindly planted the seed in his mind, Naruto would be glad to give him a little push, whether he knew it or not.

Later, at dinner that night, Jiraiya took the time to chat with Naruto over easy subjects. Simple stuff, like jutsu, and training, and oftentimes women back in Konoha, but decided to infuse a simple question into the conversation. It wouldn't look too inconspicuous, as the Toad Sage did occasionally ask Naruto more serious questions, and a crowded restaurant seemed as good a place as any.

"Hey, Gaki," the Sannin said, with a glance at Naruto from behind the myriad ramen bowls.

"Whaddaya need?" Naruto asked, through a mouthful of noodles, barely looking up.

"Naruto, be honest with me here. If you could change one thing with your life, what would it be?"

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the sage, and put down his chopsticks in thought. He knew Jiraiya wanted an honest answer, and he wasn't going to outright lie, so he looked his sensei straight in the eyes and stated, "I wish I'd met you earlier. Like, when I was a kid and everyone bullied me. I woulda' liked to have you around to keep me company."

The sage was genuinely touched. Rarely in his life could he honestly say he felt wanted by someone so honestly without any ulterior motive. The kid didn't want him around for his power or his money, but rather the companionship and camaraderie that came with having a sensei. Of course, he couldn't let Naruto know that.

"That's_ it_? Really? My dear boy, if you could rewrite your whole life, wouldn't you rather have hordes of women throwing themselves at your feet?"

Naruto growled from across the table and flung himself at Jiraiya, who was cackling even as the table cracked under Naruto's weight as he flung himself at the Toad Sage. Just another addition to the bill, Jiraiya decided.

The night passed on in much the same way their evenings usually did, and both retired after brief sparring after dinner. Even as his charge fell unconscious in his hotel bed, Jiraiya couldn't quite sleep. The night was drawing on in a crawl, and Jiraiya had settled down leaning against the balcony rail looking out into the town below. Naruto hadn't been bullied as a child. The term 'bully' usually applied to silly little scuffles and name-calling between children. He'd been beaten down. Abused. Nearly killed and brought back from the brink of death countless times by the demon that caused him all the trouble in the first place. The old geezer, Sarutobi, hadn't quite lived up to his promise, and Naruto had suffered because his parents, godfather, and the whole damn village just couldn't come to help him. The first two people on the list, Minato and Kushina, had damn good reasons, but he himself wasn't quite as easily excusable. Where had he been those first dozen or so years? Tales of debauchery, shenanigans, and months on end of drinking himself away came to mind, and that left a sour taste in his mouth. Almost never was he directly the cause of another human's suffering, even less frequently for extended periods of time. The fact that the kid wasn't a total monster when Jiraiya found him was a godsend in and of itself.

Exhaling heavily, Jiraiya took off his headband, and started to remove his coat and gi. His white hair hung low on his back and his shoulders sagged as he slunk to bed. In the morning, he decided. In the morning, he'd write Naruto a better life, for himself, Minato, and the boy himself. It would be a foray into the myriad possibilities that might've been, had he only been there. It would be Naruto's chronicles, with a story by Jiraiya the Gallant to boot! That would fly off the shelves! Jiraiya closed his eyes and was asleep in minutes, with ideas in his mind and a smile on his face.

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><p><strong>AN<strong>: So any feedback is helpful, from style to story idea to suggestions to what-have-you. I'm trying to write this as a throwback to the Part 1 era fanfictions that didn't have the crazy powers floating around like a giant gorilla in the room. This chapter takes place early in the training trip, and future chapters will often have a short sequence in the real world either preceding or following the 'story' that Jiraiya will be writing to set the time and place. The 'story' is AU, and is intended to be written in Jiraiya's voice with his own style. Pairings are possible, but of course they're at the mercy of Jiraiya. I can promise no harems or intentional crack pairings however.


	2. A Fortunate Coincidence

**AN:** Chapter length should be increasing over the next few chapters to a level I feel more comfortable with, which will often mean longer down-time between chapters, but I think it gets more done. This one is pretty short, and I still sort of consider it a prologue chapter. Anyway, on with the show.

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><p>"Hey Naruto. Earth to Naruto!" Waking up with Jiraiya's shouting face mere inches from his own was not something Naruto Uzumaki could say he was accustomed to, nor could he say that it was pleasant. Terrified out of his wits by the sudden rousing, he scrambled up the tree shouting curses the whole time while Jiraiya was nearly howling with laughter.<p>

"What the Hell was that for, Ero-sennin?" He barked, glaring daggers at the older man.

"I thought the rule was 'no napping', runt?" Jiraiya questioned, a cocky half-smile on his face.

Grumbling to himself, Naruto rose to his feet and walked back towards the training field with Jiraiya in tow.

"It wasn't even a nap! I was just," he paused a moment, looking for the right words, "_meditating._ Yeah, meditating! And you went and ruined my concentration and set back my training," he accused, pointing at the Sannin.

"Oh, my lord Naruto! If I'm setting back your training, perhaps I'll let you go back to 'meditating', instead of teaching you a new jutsu," the sage goaded, which earned an expected and gratifying series of yelps and stammers of protest.

"Alright, _alright_! I'll teach you the jutsu, but only if you answer one question for me."

Naruto nodded expectantly, nearly bursting with excitement. Jiraiya trained him often enough-they were out for practically that purpose alone, but when Jiraiya said 'jutsu,' he didn't mean some little chakra control technique, or an easy D-rank move that wouldn't put him ahead in battle. No, when Jiraiya tossed the term around, it was always a huge, flashy, mind-blowing-super-jutsu-explosion, and Naruto drank it up.

For Jiraiya, however, it was the start of his latest novel. And, although _'Icha-Icha Foxboy'_ had a certain ring to it, he knew his young charge wouldn't appreciate the type of 'popularity' that came with starring in one of Jiraiya's novels. So, since his brain was being less than cooperative, he resigned himself to indirectly letting Naruto control the story. It was, after all, about him. Jiraiya would change all the names and plot points to be less readily recognizable; the first draft would be a small present to himself in that the names and details would be spot on, at least until he took the story to an editor.

"Here's the question of the day, then. To add on to what I asked you last night-"

"What did you ask me last night?" Jiraiya grinned lecherously, and Naruto blushed with dark eyes. "Fine, whatever, just ask the question already!"

"If I'd come to Konoha earlier, would you have left with me?"

Naruto scrunched his eyes closed and rubbed his chin in thought.

"To be honest, I think I'd of left with anyone if they would've taken me."

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><p>The annual festival celebrating the supposed death of Kyuubi was heralded as something to look forward to by the entire village, from the ANBU Captain down to the lowliest beggar. The town was ablaze with fireworks, lights, and crowds of people in varying styles of dress celebrating the eighth anniversary of the defeat of the monster. For Jiraiya, it was the first time in eight years he'd set foot in the village, and even then it was his intent to be gone again without anyone noticing. His recognizable garb and status in the village made it too obvious to snoop around unless the rest of the village was already preoccupied. Never one for thoughtlessness, Jiraiya had kept himself mostly hidden as he moved around the village, shrouding himself with a few basic infiltration jutsu. They were nothing serious enough to warrant ANBU attention if he was spotted, but certainly enough to ensure that no civilians happened to catch a good look at him as he made his way toward his destination. Fortunately for the village, he wasn't an enemy and had no desire to attack when the village itself was so easily targeted, and he took swift hops across roof tops to the tower of the current Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi.<p>

Landing with easy grace on the windowsill, Jiraiya was treated to the picture of his old sensei looking on in his crystal ball, pipe in hand, watching over the village. In a moment, he'd touched down softly in the circular office, still leaning lazily against the windowsill behind him, and his mentor looked up at him with tired eyes.

"I didn't think I'd live long enough to see you with my own eyes again," the old man stated, a jovial edge to his tone. Even in his advanced years, the man hadn't lost the same intelligence and concern behind his dark eyes that made him the leader the village looked up to for decades.

"Well, looks like you thought wrong," Jiraiya responded, matching his sensei's tone.

"To what do I owe the visit, Jiraiya?" The old man asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Can't two old men sit together and talk about old times?" The younger of the two asked, only half-joking. A stray glance downward left Jiraiya looking into the crystal ball when it flashed in on a wild patch of yellow hair attached to a small boy.

"That hair color isn't common for this region," Jiraiya commented off-hand, but the accusation hung in the air.

Waving a hand over the crystal ball, Sarutobi zoomed in on the boy, who was panting hard, as if he'd just sprinted a good distance.

"I didn't think I'd ever have to tell you, to be honest. I'd hoped that things would have gone better for him, and that you wouldn't have been needed. When you didn't come back, I didn't know who I could've turned to, so I let him forge his own way-"

"Sensei, you're rambling. Tell me now; who is that boy?" Jiraiya was glaring hard at his sensei of nearly four decades, but the Hokage wouldn't meet his eyes.

"You already know the answer to that, Jiraiya," was his soft response, and the pipe that had once rested in his hand came to the mouth of the Hokage in a flash. Exhaling a cloud of smoke, he looked up to his student, who had been moving towards his desk, and met his eyes slowly.

"Take him, Jiraiya. Get him out of this place as soon as you can, and don't come back until he's ready to become a ninja of Konoha. He's out in the northern fringe of the village now, probably running away from those who believe him to be the beast his father sealed in him."

Jiraiya didn't take the time to address his sensei, and merely bolted back out the window at breakneck speed towards the place he now knew that the last surviving piece of Minato was currently hiding. Jiraiya had never raised a child, and the implications of his actions didn't register as he swooped in on the street, batting away drunken civilians, who'd intended to attack the boy, with fervor. Grabbing him swiftly and tossing him over a shoulder, Jiraiya hopped back onto a roof on his trek out of the village in an instant, hoping that he wasn't recognized as having been back in the village, even if only for a moment. It was probably better if they thought him gone.

Jiraiya didn't slow his strides down until Konoha was a speck in the distance, and his surprisingly quiet hostage put up no resistance to being placed down in the tent Jiraiya had set up miles outside the village borders. He was asleep within minutes, and Jiraiya had a minute to sit down and reflect on the impulse he'd just jumped on. Was he fit to raise a child? Not just any child, but the son of his former student? The kid wouldn't have a normal upbringing with the nomadic Toad Sage as his guardian, but then again wandering couldn't be nearly as bad as the abuse that his home brought him. Considering that the old man recommended it, he assumed the paperwork (and other issues that came with abducting a Konoha citizen) would be handled, but he was hit with the knowing feeling that the brat, now asleep in blissful unawareness of the shifting world around him, would take after his father in the way that he always seemed to make the simplest things nightmarishly complicated. Looking over to the tent, Jiraiya decided that nothing was ever solved at this hour of night, and gave himself up to the desire for rest, deciding to settle the matter in the morning. Even as he looked at the small boy already sleeping on the other side of the tent, however, and even against his better judgment, he was willing to give the boy the same chance he'd given Minato; the chance to see the world, to learn the way of the shinobi, and ultimately to have a sensei who gave a damn about his pupil. With images already forming in his mind of trials, tribulations, and adversity, the Sage felt a tiny smile fall silently on his lips. He wouldn't have it any other way.


	3. The Basics

**A/N:** Sorry about the wait. No excuses, just story. More notes at the end of the chapter.

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><p>As the days ticked by in their wanderings, Naruto began to grow accustomed to small questions that seemed far out of place coming from Jiraiya. Little things about his past, about what he would have done when he was younger, and, as long as it was mixed sparsely throughout an insane training regimen, he didn't ask questions; he was, after all, under the tutelage of one of the most eccentric shinobi in history.<p>

So, when Jiraiya asked him what the hardest part of the academy curriculum was, Naruto wasn't hesitant to respond, "Learning how to mould chakra."

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><p>Waking up to a small boy's misguided attempts to escape a tent was certainly not what the sage had expected in the early hours of the morning. Memories of the previous night flooded back to him, and he realized now that his 'impulse-purchase', of sorts, would have long term ramifications. He yearned to use the kid as a continuation of what he'd had with Minato, as a sparring partner, a friend, a fellow warrior, but he knew in a heartbeat that he would be starting from scratch as an older, even less patient, man. With a grumble, he rose to his feet and clasped a large hand on the boy's head, unzipping the entrance to the tent that had eluded the boy for well over a minute. Yawning loudly out into the open air, the Sannin stretched out his body, and the small boy clamored out of the tent shortly after, going through the same motions.<p>

Shooting Naruto a glance, Jiraiya shrugged on his robe and turned to face the boy for the first time. He slowly but surely worked up the nerve to speak to the last remnants of his student, and to explain what had, and what would, occur.

"Who the hell are you, old man?" The eight year old asked, eyes squinting.

The sage blanched, nearly choking on his own words.

"What kind of way is that to speak to your new sensei, you little runt?" He asked, crossing his arms and flashing the boy a haughty smile.

"Tch. Who said I wanted you as a sensei? I could probably learn from Gramps more than I could ever learn from you. Prove that you're strong enough to be my sensei, old man," he quipped back, defiance sparkling in his eyes.

Jiraiya, for his part, had no idea how to deal with someone who obviously wanted nothing to do with him. Without any understanding of his power, his title, or his fame, Jiraiya didn't know how to properly demonstrate his skill to the young boy standing before him. Snapping his fingers as a thought came to him, Jiraiya bit his thumb as he flashed through a quick series of seals that he knew as well as any. With the customary shout, he slammed his hand to the ground, and smoke obscured his view of Naruto.

When it cleared, the sage was sitting atop a frog about the size of an elephant, smirking down at his charge.

"You look even smaller from up here, Naruto," he mocked, obviously goading the boy. Instead of the expected fuming, however, Naruto knitted his eyebrows in confusion.

"How did you know my name?" He asked, the effect of the summon lost on him.

Jiraiya exhaled through his nose as he released the frog, landing on his feet as he contemplated a way to answer without saying too much.

"The Hokage asked me to train you to become a ninja, so it makes sense that I'd know you. My name is Jiraiya, and I'm one of the Hokage's original students," he settled for, all mirth lost from his features, "And as your sensei, I can tell you that this will be rigorous. You won't see home for at least a few years, and we'd be wandering. You would learn the way of the ninja from experience and trials rather than the academy classroom. If you accept my offer, there is no turning back."

Naruto looked up at the sage with fire burning in his eyes, and Jiraiya could swear he'd seen the same look a thousand times over. He knew immediately that he'd taken in his latest student.

"You've got yourself a deal then, sensei. I'm gonna' be the best ninja in the whole world, and I'm gonna' beat Gramps someday, too!" He hollered, already set past the point of no return.

"Heh, fine then kid. If you want to be a ninja, then I'll make you into the best ninja the great nations have ever seen!"

The gung-ho attitude lasted, between them, about two days. Naruto was physically advanced for his age, and he certainly had natural potential from genetics and the Kyuubi, but he had to have absolutely zero intuition when it came to learning basics. Jiraiya, in all his infinite wisdom, had taught Naruto the seals necessary to form Jutsu and given him a simple command; he listed a few seals together, and asked Naruto to form a basic clone. Naruto flashed through the seals, and when, unsurprisingly, nothing happened, the two were stumped.

"Well what did you do wrong?" Jiraiya asked for the thousandth time, looking at his pupil as if he'd grown a second head.

"I'm tellin' you, I really have no idea what I'm doing wrong! I do it just like you say to," he shouted back, glaring at the older man as the sun finally started to set over the tree line.

Jiraiya, deciding to take the lesson down to its basest elements, asked Naruto a simple checklist to see if it was something they could piece together.

"Are you making any other gestures between seals?" A quick shake of his head.

"Are you concentrating fully on the Jutsu?" A nod this time.

"Are you moulding your chakra properly?" This time, Naruto started up at _him_ as if _he'd_ grown a second head.

"Moulding my chakra?" He repeated, the phrase coming off as more bewildered than anything else.

Jiraiya raised his eyebrows, and suddenly realized that the main issue in all of this was that Naruto simply didn't know how to mould chakra. Laughing heartily, he set out to explain how to do so.

"Alright, Naruto, well ninja use chakra for Jutsu and other techniques, mostly. To mould it, you simply…" the hermit trailed off, never before having given this speech. He was separated by decades from his academy training, and had absolutely no idea how to explain it. He was a Sannin, after all, and he'd never had much problem during war and recent years calling his massive reserves to his every need. He didn't even know how to explain it technically, so he had to settle for vague and hope that Naruto didn't notice.

"Well, you sort of just think about it happening, and it does. Maybe if you tense up all your muscles it'll make more sense. Try to think that you're…taking energy out of every part of your body and bringing it to your belly."

Naruto tried the same technique again, flashing through the seals and closing his eyelids so tightly Jiraiya could tell he was literally in pain from the tremors that were wracking his small form.

"Clone Jutsu!" Naruto shouted, and, for the first time, there was a small puff of smoke next to him. It was about two thirds his size, and, when it cleared, a deformed half-clone of him laid defeated on the ground, and 'popped' into oblivion as soon as the smoke had settled. Jiraiya shrugged his shoulders and started to walk back to where they'd camped, but Naruto was racing after him with pride in his eyes and a spring in his step.

"Did you see that, sensei? I did it! I made a clone!" Jiraiya did his best to look impressed, but it was honestly pretty disappointing to the sage that his pupil only managed to make one, deformed clone with all his massive chakra reserves. He was half tempted to sneak back into Konoha and steal an academy textbook, so he could at least understand how it was 'supposed' to be taught, and so that he didn't make any obvious mistakes that set training back for days, or worse. He squashed that impulse and realized that he was truly on his own; he couldn't go running back to Sarutobi or his village so soon, especially after the sour note he'd left on.

So it went that same way for days after, with Naruto making the same deformed clone, but, occasionally (and with more frequency) making two or more clones, all still looking rather useless. With the lack of book learning that Jiraiya used, Naruto was accelerated in his understanding of the Jutsu, and basic Taijutsu concepts; whereas the other first year academy students would focus on concepts and history, Jiraiya centered all of his efforts, for better or worse, onto practical application and skills, occasionally mentioning small tidbits about the history of the village or specific elements of fighting that came up in training. It wasn't a bad arrangement for either of the two; however Jiraiya still felt, throughout all the preliminary training, that there was some piece missing.

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><p>AN: So all feedback is, as always, much appreciated. I don't think I'll ever actually respond to individual reviews, but I really want to thank anyone who did take the time to read or review this fic. To respond to a common theme, though, I'll talk for a bit about the abuse in the last chapter. I know it's not necessarily canon, but I do really think that Jiraiya would need a stronger trigger than cold stares or name calling to change his entire lifestyle and take in Naruto. It's, technically, an inconvenience for him, and I guess it's just personal opinion that led me to write it the way I did. I'm not saying any one form of abuse is worse than another, I just think one is much more readily visible to an outsider looking in for the first time, so I stuck with that. See you guys (hopefully) soon with another chapter!


	4. The Not So Basics

**A/N**: Hey, guys. Thanks again to those of you who reviewed, and thanks to all the readers!

"Summoning Jutsu!" Came the howl of the toad sage, hopping deftly back onto one foot as his palm slammed on the earth below him, and within two seconds a stream of fire came pouring from the cloud of smoke.

"Shit," Naruto cursed, throwing together a quick cross seal, and creating a large wall of clones to soak up some of the blast. He was sent flying backwards from the shockwave of so many clones dispersing at the same time, and launched, kicking and screaming, into a tree several meters behind him.

"Ugh. Ero-sennin, what the hell was that for?" He groaned, rubbing his head.

Jiraiya, to his credit, didn't brag, settling instead for a slow saunter over to his student, and an extended hand to help him up.

"I noticed that those clones were inefficient. For the amount of chakra you put in, they shouldn't have gone so easily," the Sannin commented, looking much less worse for the wear than his student.

"Well maybe if you'd taught me chakra control in the first place, I wouldn't make such crappy clones," the blond accused, to his chuckling mentor.

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><p>The days that followed the training 'breakthrough' turned into weeks, and then months. Naruto was progressing at a solid clip, but Jiraiya wanted to push him; he knew even the regular academy students would have surpassed his mediocre control by a longshot, and progressed to more advanced techniques than a clone. As the two trained in silence, Jiraiya saw one poorly constructed clone too many, and stood up, exasperated. Naruto had improved his taijutsu skills, learning a few basic forms and doing better in sparring, but he still couldn't make one good clone. It didn't make sense, either; Naruto could go all day and into the night doing the same thing over and over, pouring every ounce of himself into his technique, but it never worked.<p>

"Naruto, come here for a minute," the sage commented, and the blond came jogging over.

"What's up, sensei?" He chirped, not even realizing his master's irritation at his repeated failure; to Naruto, he was already the epitome of a ninja.

"This is going to hurt, so just suck it up, alright?" The older man asked, and before Naruto could even blurt out a 'what?' Jiraiya's fingers had lit up with a deep burning chakra, and he jammed his hand onto the boy's stomach.

Naruto careened backwards, the wind thoroughly knocked out of him, and rose slowly to his feet a minute or two later. He wobbled back and forth, teetering from one extreme to the next, but finally regaining his balance.

"What was that for?" He slurred out, glaring daggers at Jiraiya.

"Do the jutsu," he commanded, a stony look on his face.

He'd sealed Naruto's chakra, so that he could only access about a tenth of what he normally drew from. It would feel as if he was drawing the same, but only that minute fraction would actually come out. The seal itself was laughably easy to get out of, if one knew how, but Jiraiya didn't have to worry about the eight year old working his way out of the seal.

"Clone jutsu!" Naruto shouted, and smoke enveloped him. If Jiraiya was right, then Naruto would make another deformed clone, even sadder than the rest, but if he could progress a little with sealed chakra, it might carry over to normal training-

And before the sage finished his thought, Naruto stood next to a perfect replica of himself, down to the absolutely shining grin on his face.

"I did it! I did it!" He shouted, jumping up and down as the clone dispersed. The sage was flabbergasted, but looked at the boy with a neutral face, and nodded his head.

"Ha! Just as I planned! My strike knocked the inspiration you needed into you!" He chortled, even as Naruto began to teeter in his movement. Within a minute, he was on the ground unconscious, having spent his energy in the day's training and the celebration. Looking towards the setting sun, Jiraiya hoisted the boy up, and set himself to finding out what, exactly, had occurred.

It was clear that the jutsu had been a perfect success; it had completed its intended purpose perfectly. As the seal began to wear off, however, Jiraiya could slowly piece together what had happened. It seemed that Naruto had so much chakra, and such poor control, that he put enough chakra into the jutsu trying to make one clone that another student could have used for fifty. He already had a genin's reserves as a new trainee, and still had virtually no control over it. Stifling his chakra was interesting, but not practical, and Jiraiya stored the information away without giving it too much further thought. What he needed was a way to advance Naruto's training without focusing on what he had no aptitude for; Naruto, like he himself, would never be a master of chakra control. The two were both, however, blessed with titanic reserves and a penchant for determination, so he knew that Naruto would soon grow in leaps and bounds.

After a full year had passed from the start of their relationship, Jiraiya sat on a barstool next to his pupil, who was currently spinning it around, giggling the whole time.

"Two miso, please," he requested, nodding to the server.

"Ramen! Ramen! Ramen!" Naruto giggled, turning to face the steaming bowl in front of him as it was delivered.

"Happy birthday, kid," the sage whispered, as Naruto began to dig in to his bowl. He signaled for another round of ramen, as he himself started on his own bowl. Naruto had received a full first year academy education, he supposed. Maybe not the way the chunin at the academy would have taught it, but it was definitely a start. And, he reasoned, Naruto wouldn't have done well in a classroom, anyway.

Chasing away his serious thoughts on such an occasion, Jiraiya reached into his robe and pulled out a small wrapped package, putting it in front of the boy. All ramen eating ceased in short order, and Naruto looked at it, as if looking for permission. Jiraiya nodded, and he tore into the paper, making a small mess that the server tried dutifully to keep in order. At the end of the maelstrom was a small boy holding a frog plush, and he beamed up at his sensei, looking for all the world like he'd been given a pot of gold as his gift.

"Sensei, you're the best!" He cooed, hopping into the sage's chest, and nearly knocking both of them off of the stool.

"This is my first real birthday present," he said, muffled by the sage's clothes as he spoke into the larger man's chest.

Jiraiya did his best not to wince as Naruto climbed back into his seat, finishing off the bowl of ramen. As he squeezed the frog between his hands, it let out a short, loud 'ribbit', and Jiraiya knew he was in for a long, long night.

As more time passed, Jiraiya had no idea why Naruto couldn't grasp simple chakra control exercises. If his reserves were smaller, he would literally be unable to become a ninja, as his methods were so roundabout and inefficient that it seemed downright wasteful. The gradual improvement of all of Naruto's skills was impressive, but his chakra control held him back immensely even as he advanced as a trainee. Jiraiya needed to pick up the pace, and fast; if Naruto came back as only a standard genin, it would reflect poorly on him as a teacher and Naruto as a student; after all, if a student of a Sannin was only rank-and-file, they truly must have had no skill whatsoever. So, settling on one of his trademark odd approaches, Jiraiya came towards Naruto one afternoon with a sack on his back.

"Naruto, hold on a moment. Stop trying to substitute for the time being, and just watch."

The blue-eyed boy cocked his head in interest and strolled towards the man who was already unloading the sack.

Pulling out a small, nondescript water balloon, Jiraiya beckoned him forward with a finger, and placed it in his palm. Grabbing one for himself, as well, Jiraiya crouched down to his eye level.

"Alright, so this is a new technique I want to show you," he whispered, conspiratorially, to his charge. Eyes bulging out, Naruto leaned in, ready to soak up every word.

Rearing up to his full height, Jiraiya palmed the balloon and focused his chakra casually, spinning the water in the balloon until it visibly spun inside, careening off the sides of its inner surface.

"I want you to do what I just did. Use your chakra to spin the water inside the balloon," he ordered, all movement in his own balloon ceasing. He had no intention of actually teaching a nine year old the Rasengan; to do so would be ludicrous. The exercise of exerting chakra control and power, however, was very useful, indeed.

"So I just have to get the water to spin?" Naruto asked, looking confused; it seemed overly simple, even to him. After all, if he could make clones and was learning to 'teleport', how hard would it be to make water move?

"Yeah, that's it," Jiraiya responded, with a knowing smirk, "And if you manage to do it within a week, I'll even teach you how to breath fire!"

Naruto's eyes shot wide open, and he set to work. Needless to say, at the end of the week, Naruto didn't learn how to breathe fire. Jiraiya, however, was satisfied with his progress; if he couldn't exert perfect control, the least he could do was learn to manifest his immense reserves with powerful outputs of chakra in combat. And, for the time being, that was enough to work on.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Now, before I get raged at, I just want to say that no, Naruto is not going to learn the Rasengan at age nine. This isn't foreshadowing, and it isn't a tip off to readers, I really am just using the exercise as a chakra manipulation device. The goal wasn't even to break the balloon, just to swirl the water (which he couldn't do well as of this chapter), so no, Naruto has not surpassed himself at age 13 in canon at age 9 in my story. I think I'm going to have another time skip soon, probably close to genin age. I'm thinking either a trip straight back to the village at that point, or a side trip to Myoboku, which would involve a different time arriving back. Any feedback, guys?


	5. Of Balloons and Nicknames

A/N: Alrighty, next chapter time. Just a short one to get back in to things. More coming soon.

Inevitably, Naruto found himself unable to perform the water-swirling in a week, and, much to his chagrin, didn't get to learn how to breathe fire. He tried harder and harder to spin the water, but found, each time, that throwing all of his chakra at a water balloon did not cause its contents to spin. More water balloons were broken in fits and temper tantrums than were stirred even a little by the young ninja-to-be.

"Oi, sensei, show me how to do it again," he barked at the older man, who was humming absentmindedly with a scroll in his lap.

"Last time, kid," he warned, though the words were empty. He would likely show him the same thing over and over for weeks to come. He just hoped the invested time would lead to dividends later on, and leaps and bounds of progress.

He rose to his feet and took the object of hatred from his pupil, and effortlessly swirled the water around before handing it back. Naruto, as though he understood something that Jiraiya knew he likely didn't, stared intently at the sphere. His eyes lit up, and he looked back up at Jiraiya.

"One more time, please," he looked resolute instead of downtrodden, and Jiraiya took the balloon back with wide eyes. Performing the exact same chakra technique, he handed the balloon back. Naruto grabbed it from his hand, and set into a wide stance. Looking down at the balloon with narrowed eyes, he set to work.

Jiraiya was more surprised than he had been in ages. The edges of the balloon quivered and shook, if only slightly. The water inside was clearly shaking and churning in multiple directions, as Jiraiya himself had done. It was marginal, but it was progress.

"Great job, kid, but what changed in thirty seconds?" He inquired, cocking an eyebrow.

"You set the water in all different directions," he got out, though panting and worn. "I forced myself to put my chakra in other directions instead of taking it all and pushing it in one place." He looked overjoyed that his nemesis had quavered under his efforts, and the sage couldn't help but chuckle.

"Yeah, you did good Naruto. Can you decide exactly where to push your chakra yet?" He tried not to look optimistic, but he definitely wanted to get a 'yes'.

"Sort of," Naruto responded, bashful under his master's gaze. "I can make it go other directions, but I can't really choose where exactly."

"Make a clone," Jiraiya ordered, stripping his pupil of the balloon. Naruto was quick to make the hand sign, but before he actually performed the jutsu, Jiraiya separated Naruto's small hands with his much larger ones.

"This time, pick one of those 'directions' you found before, and only use that one. Don't focus on any of the others."

He was trying to simplify the process for the young boy, but his furrowed brow clearly meant he was confused. Exhaling through his nose, Jiraiya was about to tell him to forget it, but was rewarded with a response.

"Won't that mean I'm using a lot less chakra? Won't that make the clone even worse?"

Jiraiya looked gleeful that he'd finally get a chance to explain what was in order.

"Not a chance, kid. You're using so much chakra I wouldn't be surprised if this was your best clone yet."

Naruto, encouraged, shouted the jutsu out and two perfect clones flanked him. They fizzled only a short moment after, when his concentration broke, but he looked as happy as Jiraiya had ever seen.

"I did it! I did it! I'm the strongest ninja around!" He hollered, water balloon long forgotten.

"Eh, it was okay, I guess," Jiraiya grumbled, mockingly. Naruto looked up, hurt, but Jiraiya winked at him to calm his fears.

"Not a bad day at all, kid. I have some research to do, though, so you should practice making clones until I get back."

"You got it, sensei!" He chirped, already at work. Jiraiya grinned lecherously as he hopped off into the tree line, already picking out an area that was always occupied this time of year.

Writing down as much 'research' as he could get, given his distance, Jiraiya hadn't a care in the world. Until, of course, a loud crash came down next to him. It brought with it a storm of errant branches and a certain blond idiot, neither of which were lost on the buxom lasses he happened to be observing. They bolted in an instant, screeching 'Pervert!' at the top of their lungs, and Naruto popped his head up from under the branches, grinning at his sensei.

"I made three, sensei!" He shouted at the sage, whose mouth was wide open with disbelief at the unfortunate turn of events.  
>"You're shocked into silence, huh? Yeah, I'm just that good!" His pupil continued, oblivious to the twitch that had forced itself on Jiraiya's eye.<p>

"You little…" He growled, his student oblivious to the pain he'd inflicted on his master, "You ruined my research!" He howled, sounding like a madman and looking the part.

"Research? You were just looking at girls in bikinis!" He laughed, as if it were all a joke. Straightening up, his face grew serious.

"By the way sensei, what's a 'pervert'?" He asked, scratching his chin.

"Whatever it is, those girls thought you were one. You're a pervert!" He giggled, jumping around the defeated man.

"Pervert! Pervert! Pervert!" He chanted, until Jiraiya grabbed him by the scruff of his jacket.

"Idiot! Watch what you say!" He snarled, but Jiraiya couldn't reign in his student's shouting.

"You're a pervert! Pervert sensei!" He resumed his chanting, with renewed vigor.

"You're my pervert sensei! My ero-sensei!" He laughed, wriggling out of Jiraiya's clutches. Inevitably, it was the one nickname that stuck to the man like glue.


End file.
